Assault on Precinct 13

As soon as I found out about Assault on Precinct 13, I grew curious. Lawrence Fishburne is in it, so I figured it would probably be pretty damned good. The fact that it's set in Detroit, my home town, both excited and annoyed me. But hey, shit happens. After all, Robocop was supposed to be set in Detroit, though it was filmed entirely in Houston. True Romance supposedly started off in the Motor City as well, though Detroiters will note that there is no 223rd street as mentioned in that movie. (There seems to be one in New York, interestingly enough...) So I figured give it a shot.

After seeing it, I feel that I have lost a bit of my life that I eagerly want back. It was well acted, don't get me wrong. But the plot was weak, I began predicting actions (such as Ethan Hawke using an icicle to stab a guy to death through the eye. (Wow, that was done roughly 10 years ago by Bruce Willis in Die Hard 2, and I'm sure it was done before then...) The city they claimed was Detroit most certainly wasn't; they showed what appeared to be a forest several times overlooking downtown. The nearest wooded area that could have qualified would be Belle Isle, which is an island in the middle of the Detroit River, with no industrial area even remotely close like they implied in the movie. Did I mention that the skyline of Detroit they showed was reasonably accurate, though it was an obvious back drop? Hell, they couldn't even fake the winter properly: the snow flakes looked like Cocoa Puffs dyed white, and there was no vapor from anyone breathing in the cold air... Geez what a disappointment...!

Hollywood: Just when you were beginning to get things right by filming on location, and in the right time of year (or faking it really well through special effects) you go and fuck up big time like this... You guys really need to buy a clue or two! But, at least Lawrence kicked ass as always...