Question: What is a conspiracy?

In Jeopardy fashion: Answer: A weekend off to a bad start due to issues at work, a great 36+ hour period with my wife in San Diego culminating in the discovery that someone hit my parked car in front of my own home when we return. Yep, that's right. Lori and I left yesterday morning for San Diego, to spend a rare weekend alone in our other car (my late father's Dodge Intrepid that my mother gave us), and returned home a short while ago to find that someone not only bumped my car, but pushed the front bumper underneath the front end, and damaged the radiator. To boot, my insurance doesn't cover everything; it's just liability. All this after my employer fucked up my paycheck on Friday on an otherwise fucked up work day. I need a vacation from all this reality.

On the bright side, Lori and I had a wonderful time in San Diego.